Believe

I still cannot see the big picture yet

I still cannot see how small the problem is actually

I still cannot see how to believe

Complicated

weird

and unreal

I missed it

Wish I could go back at that time

Wish I did it

I dont know if its too late

I dont know if its just a test

I dont know anything

No words can say

No words can explain

No words can tell

Its better to be quiet

put His words instead my words

praise Him and be thankful

I wish....

I hope...

I pray...

Its hard to believe

but I try

and I choose to BELIEVE

I choose....

So many things weird things happened this week. Just heard bad news from home and I felt like my heart stopped for 1 second. I cant believe about whats going on right now and I dont know what it happens. God gave me vision and confirmation, but weird thing happened. It is such a big challenge for me. I still dont know is it just a test or what...I dont know. I cannot expect too much, but I try and choose to BELIEVE!

What I see right now everything is so complicated and non sense. but, if its not His will and plans, He will change the story and much better.

My God is not a confusing Author and I believe the time is coming... what I need to do is just believe...I try and I choose to believe....

2011 and 2012

Wow! I still cannot believe that 2011 is OVER! 2011 had been an amazing year, full of memorable moments, new friendship, and surprisingly all my wish lists that I wrote in 1 January 2011 have been checked! wow... and there were surprised journey in between.

AND NOW...IT'S TIME TO SAY "HELLO 2012!" WOW! haha sorry I just cannot repeating this word "WOW!" seriously time goes really fast and I AM 22!!! DOUBLE 'WOW'

This year, I will be graduate and receive my Bachelor of Art in Psychology and Cultural as my concentration. I still cannot believe that I will be done with undergraduate study in 3 months.....3 months! can you believe it? The hardest part is that I will leave Seattle soon. I am sure it will be really hard to leave NU and Seattle in May. I had the best moment and met most wonderful people in my life. They are just such an ahmayzing friends. I dont know how will I feel when I leave this place, but I will try so hard to think that it is time to move to the next level of life. Well..I dont want to think about it right now. What I wanna do is that I just wanna enjoy this 3 months as "undergraduate student"

The most exciting about 2012 is that I will have an opportunity to go to London for a year to study in Fashion Business. Well, the application still in process. If this plan is God's will, I believe that everything goes well. We'll see whats gonna be happen! I am nervous and so excited at the same time.

2012 will be such an memorable and amazing year! I dont know whats gonna be happen, but I do believe God has a great plan! From my work in the future, mission, soulmate, friendship, etc. I'll keep trusting Him until I arrive in promise land. I will try not to worry too much!

I am so thankful and I cannot stop saying "Thank YOU Jesus" all the time. 2011 was not an easy year, but it was a very blessed year too!

I am excited about what gonna be happen 2012! I am excited to experience amazing journey with Him.

I closed the old year and welcome the new year!

What I am thankful for in 2011:

1. Peace

2. Patience

3. Strength

4. Trust God's plans and not worrying too much

5. Passed my courses

6. Europe trip

7. Best decision

8. Good relationship with parents and brother

9. Friendship

10. ....... (still more but I will just write some)

Here is my "NEW YEAR RESOLUTION" :

1. MY LIFE IS WHAT GOD SAYS ABOUT ME. :)

2.

3

4.

5.

PS: "Dont let our limited understanding stopping us to trust His plans....Hear His voice and follow His ways. Don't let our feeling or emotion control us."

The Beauty of God...

Some of you knowing me really well, but I have never told anyone about my story when I was 20. I think it is time for me to share my story to you. I had a problem worrying about my appearance. I did not do it in healthy way and ended up bad. I could not focus in class, I almost fainted and got headache all the time. I tried so hard to lose my weight and be "skinny" like what people said. I also worried about being "ugly" I was not confident at all and someone told me if I wanted to be beautiful I must made my eyes bigger. It was the scariest thing in my life to do eye surgeon! I have never done it before and I was totally scared. I was thinking about doing it because I was worried of being ugly and no one wanted me. I ended up worried about life and myself. I felt no one understand and accept me.

I still remember I was sitting in my room and told God "Lord, why You made me like this? I am not beautiful, I am scared about future, I am....." But my Father, who really knows me well and accept me for who I am told me "seek the Beauty of God first before you think about your appearance." This simple answer changes me Forever!

After a year, I chose to be ME and not someone else. I chose to be happy and do it in HEALTHY WAY! Now I know the meaning of "BEAUTIFUL" Because of His GRACE, I have found the Beauty of GOD and His BEAUTY appears on me.

God made us uniquely and everyone is beautiful in His eyes.

Seek the beauty of God first, before we focus and wanna change our appearance